Vita Matta Pt. 1

by CheckMark

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1.
Verse 1: They say “A man can be judged by the success of his son” Congratulations, your successor’s getting it done. My whole life I’ve been holding it in: never succumb To another man’s short comings- that was lesson 1. I’ve just begun to accept, the fact that you left, Before I ever took a breath, or a step, you stepped. Scored the best girl in the world, the trophy was a baby. You never picked me up, so of course you couldn’t raise me. And I ain’t bitter, I’m just bigger. I don’t attempt to comprehend the conscience of a quitter. I’ve literally taken on everything that’s tested me And never accepted suffering as my destiny. Success can be taken from failure, if we learn from it. Your pride, your joy, and your pleasure was in that girl’s stomach. And you denied it all completely. You should hate yourself for never wanting to meet me, but thanks for life! Chorus: It’s been a mystery, but still we try to see, How something good could hurt so bad. Caught on a one way street, the taste of bittersweet, Love will survive somehow, someway. Verse 2: They say “You’re supposed to teach your son to be better than you” And you achieved that before I reached my terrible twos. My mom said I skipped those, but what’s terrible too, Is that you moved on to others to be terrible to. When I was younger, I used to run with Michael and Anthony, And later on, Momma told me that they we’re family to me. Half-brothers from the same man that had vanished on me, How you go from planting one seed, to abandoning three? Strong trees still come from dirt. Helped me get my feet on the concrete of the earth. Then you left your little man in a big city, Slim chance, wearing big pants that didn’t fit me. But I survived, no help from you. Gave me your genes, but I got no belt from you. Since the nursery, had adversity to teach me. You should hate yourself for never wanting to meet me, but thanks for life! Chorus: It’s been a mystery, but still we try to see, How something good could hurt so bad. Caught on a one way street, the taste of bittersweet, Love will survive somehow, someway. Verse 3: They say “To hold a man down, you gotta stay down with him” I been let go, and through that unrest, I’ve risen. Since the passing of my mom, my passion is beyond Looking back at the past, happy as the day is long. Cause I’m traveling the world, and have a little girl, Same shell as my mother, so I had to give her pearls. It’s wisdom I got from you, First man to show me firsthand, what not to do. But as a baby, it would haunt me. Hated feeling that the one that made me didn’t want me. Sounds crazy, but you probably didn’t like YOU, Obviously, I would be the one to break the cycle. I’ve been nothing like you from the beginning, You’re a deadbeat, and I’m alive and winning. And my child completes me.. You should hate yourself for never TRYING to meet me, but thanks for life! Chorus: It’s been a mystery, but still we try to see, How something good could hurt so bad. Caught on a one way street, the taste of bittersweet, Love will survive somehow, someway.
2.
(This is like, a story of, deception, reality, truth, and redemption..) Verse 1: Arranged the hit, straight gangster shit, Got his whole routine from the two teens that he was slanging with, Gave the dope fiend a four-feever to bang him with, Same whip he robbed me in, he’ll get bodied in. Backtrack to ‘98, doing shows out of state, At home, moving weight, Land Rover in the safe, Andover to the Cape, JP Licks to Packy’s, Eastern Mass track meet, with rapping in the back seat. Not all money’s good money, ‘specially in your own hood, Funny, but the ones you see every day ain’t easy plays Played keep-away, it wasn’t worth it to work with People around the way, till the day I fell asleep.. Star-tac blowing up, Mark ain’t showing up, He couldn’t wait, hit him with a number that he shouldn’t take. Left the groupies ribs, told him scoop me at the crib, Too much loot to miss, slipped up, in his hoopty lit. My foolishness resulted in a dirty fate, Showed the snake a whole White Widow and he showed me a .38 (Damn.. what’d I do, be a superhero?) Verse 2: Condado Plaza, taking in the scenery, Towers just fell, borders closed, chokehold on all the greenery. Got the team with me, we enjoying the fruits With Tony Toca at Lazer, blazing Crippies on the roof.. Deep down, I KNOW this clown hears me on the airwaves, Bragging in the yard, how he caught me on a rare day. Hearsay’s an ear-witness, I fear glitches, With no rush to crush the earthworm, I let the world turn.. Fast forward to progress, squad like the Loch Ness, Never seen, heavy cream, plot more, talk less Cop more weight, so I got more at stake, Had to stop making records, can’t afford talking reckless. It’s easier to take a life than take a loss, The recourse of karma overpowers short-term drama I’ma gain more off shorts than from a corpse, Forced to fall back, but I know his day’ll come.. Up in Hahkmahd’s, wrapped up, didn’t even need it, eyes Captured the rattle snake, back from a 3-5, Ironically, a part of me, wondered how my heart would beat, Shocked to see his jaw drop, fear of God, probably An oddity, feeling the hate run through my arteries, I wanna squeeze, then I see Jake playing the lottery.. (Damn.. it’s like this dude got, somebody watching him) Verse 3: Tryna hold the venom in, listening to “Many Men”, Pretending that them tentative plans ain’t really imminent, Adrenaline rush, knowing men are ready to bust, Plus fast cash and women keep my faction grinning.. Gotta handle this, four-fifth, duct tape on the handle grip, And I’ll be in Miami with fam when homie vanishes, Crazy what a grand’ll get these days, a candle-lit Vigil for a criminal abandoning his sense.. This dude’s a scram, type-bum that’s always falling In and out the can, life numbers in installments. Mad summers, calling collect, balling at rec, All that respect earned, but still, not a lesson learned.. Patience is a virtue, hesitation could hurt you, Seven’s saying “wait for satan’s workings to murk dude”, Live life as one long day, there’s still a curfew, Worse you could do is get a blanket on your head, right? Splashing through the snow and the slush outside the Roxy, Taxi cabs coming and going, roads are sloppy, So are dude’s moves, linen suit, while he stops and talks, No clue about the addict waiting in the parking lot. Hollering at something warm, cold heart thawing, Swarmed by them boys in a Taurus, he got a warrant.. (Damn.. Unreal. Snake can’t stay out the cage long enough to get killed.. I guess it’s out of my hands..)
3.
(Dreams can be broken, love can be lost. But Hope, will always stay with you. As long as you keep it.. let’s go!) Verse 1: He’s a shooting star, with a future big as the sky, Having a hard time moving, so he fizzles inside. Feeling in the dark, losing vision and pride, He’s missing his Pops, wishing he was with him to guide. Cause since he’s been alive, always had the newest sneakers, Now the only thing he has from Daddy is his features. Clashing with his teachers, he ain’t having what they’re preaching, Decent kid, acting like a bastard-slash-weakling. After school, seeking drama, all the kids teasing, He throws like a girl, cause his Momma had to teach him. Knights with body armor even have soft days, But he’s a victim of his father’s karma, lost in a maze. Tryna find his way out, but weighing on his mind, Is the weight of a world that’s waiting for him to shine. He’ll make it in time, but for now he’s gotta cope, Cause when you’re feeling all alone, your best partner is Hope, cmon.. Chorus: This song’s for the children, I want you to keep your head up! Talking to the single mothers, that think they ain’t got anyone.. This song’s for my homies, for everyone, if you’re down and out, Just know that we, will hold you down! Hold you down.. Verse 2: Earth spinning out of control, zoned-out, all alone, Feeling like she lost a part of her soul. Had goals, now she’s all on her own, Putting food on the table, plus the pot on the stove. Kinda hard to go from having visions of carats, To mad that her little man won’t finish his carrots. Used to push a carriage, happily talking marriage, Now she’s embarrassed to say where her child’s Dad is. Status changed, Earth mad at the rain, But the same dirt that caused that pain, brought the change, And copped that Range, that she can’t afford the payment on, Blame it on the game that she’s remaining just a Baby’s Mom. Since she lost the baby weight, all she heard is, “Baby wait”, Waiting on the day to get relief from all her baby’s weight. Living day to day, but for now she’s gotta cope, Cause when you’re feeling all alone, your best partner is Hope, cmon.. Chorus: This song’s for the children, I want you to keep your head up! Talking to the single mothers, that think they ain’t got anyone.. This song’s for my homies, for everyone, if you’re down and out, Just know that we, will hold you down! Hold you down.. Verse 3: Sun feeling eclipsed, no where to run, he sits, Reliving his grind, them times filling up clips. Mind full of flicks of little man and Ms Right, Feeling like he did them wrong, tryna get ‘em right. All his life was spent having pockets full of lint, So he sacrificed his presence to fill ‘em with presidents. Never hesitant to get involved, he ran free. Back against the wall, he’d do it all for his family. Now he can’t be there, so inside he searches, Looking for a sign, shine deeper than the surface. Outside he purchased, shoes, matching purses, But when the camera’s off, all that flash is worthless. Used to work with weight, now he works them weights, Hoping that his Earth will find him worth the wait. Circling the date, but for now, he gotta cope, Cause when you’re feeling all alone, your best partner is Hope, cmon.. Chorus: This song’s for the children, I want you to keep your head up! Talking to the single mothers, that think they ain’t got anyone.. This song’s for my homies, for everyone, if you’re down and out, Just know that we, will hold you down! Hold you down..
4.
Chorus: All my friends, all about the dollars and cents, Never ‘bout the consequence, we live.. Live for the moment! And we’re going hard, all the clothes and cars, Everybody knows we’re stars, and we live.. Live for the moment! Verse 1: You be getting down, up in every dance club, just to sit around. You don’t even be dancing, Plus, I know you, you ain’t into that romancing. You do it to be seen, I hate seeing my brother be a dude that’s on the scene. Blowing green just to be there, Don’t forget, the owner’s eating off the fact that we there. You’re putting on a show, Promoter getting amped, “Damn, look at all ‘em go” You’re dumping all the bottles, For fake models that would be happy with moscato. But you’re in another tier, They don’t recognize your gear, they’re just happy that you share. And I say it cause I care, Cause what you spend on Goose, you could be up in the air somewhere.. Chorus: All my friends, all about the dollars and cents, Never ‘bout the consequence, we live.. Live for the moment! And we’re going hard, all the clothes and cars, Everybody knows we’re stars, and we live.. Live for the moment! Verse 2: Everybody had you on the calendar, That means the day you turned 18, all dudes were coming after ya, Body of horse, you were gorgeous and witty, So of course you stood out like a Porsche in the city. Disappeared before the page came, Had the nerve to hit me up online with your stage name. Came back with a new swag, Red under your shoes, lil coupe, and some Lou bags. Now I don’t have the answers, Came blame you for eating while you got the chance to. But there’s an expiration date for a dancer, Right between when the trick calls, and when you answer. That fast money’s like a cancer, Eats you from the inside, while you’re buying pampers. And yeah, I’m no better, The street life ate me alive, we’re go-getters. We both got better skills, ‘Sposed to love what we do, but love don’t pay the bills. I still hope that you care, It’s supposed to be a spring board, not your career, my dear.. Chorus: All my friends, all about the dollars and cents, Never ‘bout the consequence, we live.. Live for the moment! And we’re going hard, all the clothes and cars, Everybody knows we’re stars, and we live.. Live for the moment! Verse 3: People act like they’re glad we made it. But on the low, they be pillow-talking, telling stories all fabricated. When we styled on ‘em, I know that they fabric-hated, Then they went and copped the knock-off when the fad was dated. Exaggerated, imaginary player kind, Cats with no game try to shine in the lay-up line. Happens every time, the same ones that gave the props, Happy when you take a loss, hoping they can take your spot. I don’t wanna make you hot, ain’t saying names, When you on the top, it’s not quitting if you change the game. We made it rain, see a bar, buy it out. I’m just glad I put enough aside to put the fire out. We was grinding out, they could’ve took us both, Took one for the team, time to look at the approach. Dawg, we took an oath to have no fear, But after seeing where I went, you don’t wanna go there.. Chorus: All my friends, all about the dollars and cents, Never ‘bout the consequence, we live.. Live for the moment! And we’re going hard, all the clothes and cars, Everybody knows we’re stars, and we live.. Live for the moment!
5.
Shining Thru 04:16
(Going through this day to day, makes the nights so much harder. It’s hard to get good rest, when you’re stressed. So I can’t sleep, no time to.) Chorus: I see the crystal raindrops fall, and the beauty of it all, when the sun comes shining through. Darling, when the morning comes, and I see the morning sun, I wanna be the one with you.. Verse 1: Drifting in and out of consciousness, I’m awakened by the rain, I rarely ever sleep, but tonight it’s not the same. I want to wake you up, but you’re not the one to blame, And seeing you sleep with a smile keeps me sane. It makes me want to change, so I could be the one to, Not notice the storm and relax like I want to, But I toss and turn and watch my mind wander, And listen to you breathe with the rumble of the thunder. Laying here I wonder, what it all means, Why do I stress when I can’t control things? Bottled up heat always gotta blow steam, And part of me wishes I could borrow your dreams. But I just lean back, stare at the ceiling, Like it’s a movie screen, seems so appealing (action!) And I’m happy you can be with me, So I’ll enjoy the moment while I watch you sleep, peacefully.. Chorus: I see the crystal raindrops fall, and the beauty of it all, when the sun comes shining through. Darling, when the morning comes, and I see the morning sun, I wanna be the one with you.. Verse 2: Having dreams of a better life, I’m awakened by reality, Living day to day, instead of working for a salary, Always been fly, never worried ‘bout the gravity, Middle of the night’s when it all comes back to me. Half of me thinks that I’m on a decent course, People got it way worse, so I should sleep it off. But the other half makes me have deep remorse That I don’t have a fall back if the heat goes off.. So I just push forward, Out of sight, out of mind, morbid thoughts in orbit. I should be touring, performing my music, Making crowds roar instead of making excuses. Look up at the screen and it seems so doable, Glance to the side, see a vision so beautiful (look at you!) And I’m happy you could be with me, So I’ll enjoy the scenery and watch you sleep, peacefully.. Chorus: I see the crystal raindrops fall, and the beauty of it all, when the sun comes shining through. Darling, when the morning comes, and I see the morning sun, I wanna be the one with you.. Verse 3: Your pillow’s warm, mine’s soaking, Seems like I see you with your eyes closed, more than wide open. Immune to the pain that I’m going through, Always just endure and survive, but I smile when I’m holding you. My dreams are full of sirens and violence, Emotional, hard to find solace in silence. Overwhelmed with stress, success is overdue, You tell me I’m the best, deep down, I know it’s true! I’ve been alive, but I wanna start living, All my life grinding, its time to start grinning. Say you love my smile, you’re surprised that it’s hidden, And I’m too wise to be making bad decisions. I’ve given it my all just to keep you protected, Looking at the screen and it seems misdirected (gotta fix this!) You appreciate my decency, And I’ma make a better me, so we can sleep, peacefully.. Chorus: I see the crystal raindrops fall, and the beauty of it all, when the sun comes shining through. Darling, when the morning comes, and I see the morning sun, I wanna be the one with you.. (Goodnight)
6.
Vita Matta 04:04
Chorus: When I was 17, it was a very good year. It was a very good year, when I was 17. Verse 1: I was wearing silk suits, real cute, pimp in the veins, Thinking I was gonna be the next Big Daddy Kane. G-Man was the name, and the G was for game, Repped the Bridge from which I came, baby, simple and plain. I had that inch-thick herringbone chain, When them rich kids were sick that they didn’t get a goal in their game. I came from a 16-year-old frame, 4’11” girl, with a gift from heaven, probably drove her insane. I chauffeured for a change, I stole and exchanged, We were broke, but I couldn’t let her shoulder the pain. I hit the streets, formed my own lane, And for them short gains, sold everything, marijuana to ‘caine.. Nowadays it ain’t foreign to slang, But once that “hustle” label’s thrown on you, dawg, it’s like a ball and a chain. I stayed reaching for goals, but it’s always the same, I gotta shine cause my inside’s enduring the pain.. Life’s crazy, Vita Matta. Kinda hard to be the man when you need a father, release the water. There’s beauty in the rain, to smooth away the pain, And we gain from the lessons we’re taught. Vita Matta. Chorus: When I was 21, it was a very good year. It was a very good year, when I was 21. Verse 2: I was wearing Nike Flights, knife fights, Natural Ice, Loving the night life, wilding, with a passion to write. I changed my name to Check when I’m grabbing the mic, Mark gotta come correct, can’t be average, right? I seen a couple having a fight, and put my cape on, From that day on, I was changing my life. I cut my dames off, I’m with Shorty every night, Put it on the table and I told her I’m the player type. Thought she was my a-alike, and paid the price, Loved the fight in the tiger, but she hated his stripes. Everything sacred now created a fight, Could’ve gone separate ways, but I made her my wife. Life’s crazy, Vita Matta. Kinda hard to build trust with a cheater’s aura, release the water. There’s beauty in the rain, to smooth away the pain, And we gain from the lessons we’re taught. Vita Matta. Chorus: When I was 35, it was a very good year. It was a very good year, when I was 35. Verse 3: I was dressed like success, LV’s and G’s, Scatter from Superfly, meets Steve McQueen. I had a group of guys moving green to steam, My team can’t eat raps, had to leave that dream. I’m tryna get that green like ‘Preme, The gangster, not the Gangstarr, I’m in a meaner scene. Nobody rap like Pun to stack them funds, They clap them guns with beams, and they squeeze for cream. Every time I “re”, it’s like the same routine, I’m an expert at making doing dirt seem clean. I can’t sleep, keep having evil dreams, But my daughter on my chest makes the scene serene. A lot of pressure, between tryna read the D’s, And keep my people eating, while I feed my seed. And teach her how to read, but don’t see my deeds, I never want D to be like me. Please redeem me. Life’s crazy, Vita Matta. Kinda hard to go legit, plus feed a daughter, at least I oughta, Think about a change, but can’t change the rain, So pour it down on me harder. Vita Matta. Life’s crazy, Vita Matta. Kinda hard to be the man when you need a father, and got a daughter. Pour the rain down on me harder. Vita Matta.

about

After over a decade-long hiatus, which included the untimely death of his lifelong musical partner (Eddie Bones), CheckMark (Mark Girardin) of Skitzofreniks has returned with “Vita Matta Pt. 1: An Audio-Biography of CheckMark Girardin”, the first installment of the Vita Matta trilogy, scored by DC the Midi Alien.

Vita Matta (“crazy life” in Italian) is a collection of experiences from the Cambridge, Massachusetts MC’s wild and tumultuous upbringing, and the first single “Thanks for Life” is an open letter to the father that he never met, while overcoming the challenges of parenthood himself.

Vita Matta Pt. 1 is scheduled for digital release on all streaming services on 6/17/20, and the entire trilogy will culminate with a unique physical release upon completion.

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released June 7, 2020

Produced by DC The Midi Alien

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Skitzofreniks Cambridge, Massachusetts

Hailing from Cambridge, Mass- Skitzofreniks have been a staple of the Boston HipHop scene since the mid-90’s. CheckMark (Mark Girardin) & Eddie Bones (RIP) epic live shows were revered as that of playground legends, while their grassroots method of promo, boom-bap beats and clever rhymes have earned them lifelong supporters. ... more

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